Friday, March 31, 2017

DO IT AGAIN

I remember very well – I was about 10, when I had my first asthma attack. This illness made a big impact in my life. Some days I was not able to breathe because I felt so ill. I have had many sleepless nights that my parents were by my side. Sometimes my asthma would reduce, sometimes it was high. I hated  myself because I was so ill and even wished I had never been born.

When this illness was very bad, I became powerless, not able to breathe. I could not participate in any sport cause I could not even run. It hurt me to even climb stairs. I could not sing since I couldn't hold my breadth. I remember meeting numerous doctors. The doctors did all they could for me, but they did not find a way to make me better. One doctor said, "Don't think she can get well cause it hereditary". Another said I cannot give you any more inhaler, since you have already taken over dose of that medicine, it wont affect you anymore.

I remember thinking I would die so many times due to breathlessness. I remember I cried many times. I asked God to help me. Someone told my dad to take me to this particular doctor. He gave me very expensive medicines. Those steroids made me put on weight. I sometimes even had my hand tremor due to these medicines. My dad spend so much money on me every month. I was sad to see what was happening to my family because of me. I cried out to God again.

Just when I thought I am over asthma, a new disease arrived. Time and time again I am being diagnosed with different health issues. I told God I give up. I cant take sickness over and over again. All my life I have been ill, ill and ill. I am literally sick of being sick. Many night I have cried to God to heal me. Many times I have cried on my husbands shoulder when the emotional pain was too much to bear.

All my life I have been meditating on God being a healer in the Bible. I also remember some time back Dad fasted 40 days and prayed for my healing. I believe God is the doctor of doctors. I have been mediating of specific passages where God has healed his people. Many preachers have prayed for me.

But what do I do when God doesn't heal in-spite of praying and crying out to him? why am I not healed yet?

I have had this question for a long time until recently I came to know the answer. I was listening to a random Steven Furtick sermon in the middle of the night as I couldn't sleep and this line hit me like tons of bricks.He said something like this:

MAY BE THE THING THAT HURTS YOU THE MOST MIGHT BE THE THING THAT WOULD BRING THE HIGHEST GLORY TO GOD IN YOUR LIFE!

I cried! I cried all night. Lord I have been so foolish in not understanding your plans and purpose for my life. While I'm in the valley, Jesus is still on the throne. He knows what He is doing. I simply need to trust His timings. I believe He who healed my dad from cancer would heal me of all my sickness. He would do it again! For me and for you. I BELIEVE HE WOULD DO IT AGAIN!

Leaving you with a song called, DO IT AGAIN:

Walking around these walls
I thought by now they'd fall
But You have never failed me yet
Waiting for change to come
Knowing the battle's won
For You have never failed me yet

Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I'm still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You've never failed me yet

I know the night won't last
Your Word will come to pass
My heart will sing Your praise again
Jesus, You're still enough
Keep me within Your love
My heart will sing Your praise again

Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I'm still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You never failed
Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I'm still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You never failed me yet

I've seen You move, come move the mountains
And I believe, I'll see You do it again
You made a way, where there was no way
And I believe, I'll see You do it again 




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