LOOKING BACK - EBENEZER

Phew, its been ages since I posted something. Writing is my passion but somehow I lost my fire along the  way. I must admit that the fire had gone off completely in-between. Although I have felt like fueling back the fire a thousand times, something made me feel unworthy. Just that feeling discouraged me from posting. I genuinely feel so bad for not being able to post anything all these lost years. However, a lot has happened in the past few years. After Jaden was born, I was with the busy with baby duties and then covid happened and then I had a miscarriage and then Ethan was born. And a million things!. To be completely honest, this journey of motherhood has not been easy for me. I don't really know how moms across the world do it. But one thing i know that if not for His strength and grace, I would not be alive today.

Some thing that keeps me going in this journey of life is gospel music. One song that I kept listening to often was a tamil song called - Ebenesarae. It truly blessed my heart. The word Ebenezer means "Thus far the Lord has helped us". And that's so true in my life. Without Him I would'nt be alive. 

I was listening to a sermon and the speaker spoke about Ebenezer and I couldn't belive how God kept reminding me that it is He who helped me thus far and will continue to help me in the days ahead.

If you are facing a battle today, whatever it is, I just want to encourage you that the Lord is your help. The term - Ebenezer originates from 1 Samuel 7:12. It is a stone set up by Samuel to mark the spot where God helped the Israelites defeat the Philistines, translating to "Thus far the Lord has helped us". If God can help God's people defeat their enemies, He can help you fight your battle too. Nothing is too hard for Him. He is God for a reason! All things are possible with Him! Trust Him and the victory is yours!

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7 SONGS ON THE CROSS - GRACE'S PLAYLIST

Here again I'm with my Easter / Lent season playlist on the Cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Hope you are blessed 🤗

 1. Thank you for the Cross - Bob Kauflin

Thank You for the cross, the mighty cross
That God Himself should die for such as us
And everyday we're changed into Your image, more and more
Yes, by the cross we've truly been transformed

2. Lead me to the Cross - Brooke Fraser

Lead me to the cross where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees, Lord, I lay me down
Rid me of myself, I belong to You
Oh, lead me
Lead me to the cross

3. Above all -  Paul Baloche and Lenny LeBlanc

Crucified

Laid behind the stone

You lived to die

Rejected and alone

Like a rose trampled on the ground

You took the fall

And thought of me

Above all

4. At the Cross - Hillsong

At the cross I bow my knees

Where Your blood was shed for me

There's no greater love than this

You have overcome the grave

Glory fills the highest place

What can separate me now

5. Via Dolorosa - Sandi Patty

Down the Via Dolorosa in Jerusalem that day

The soldiers tried to clear the narrow street

But the crowd pressed into see

the man condemned to die on Calvary.

He was bleeding from a beating

there were stripes upon His back

And He wore a crown of thorns upon his head

And He bore with every step

the scorn of those who cried out for his death

6. Worthy Is The Lamb - Hillsong

Thank You for the cross, Lord;

Thank You for the price You paid;

Bearing all my sin and shame,

In love You came,

And gave amazing grace.

Thank You for this love, Lord;

Thank You for the nail-pierced hands;

Washed me in Your cleansing flow,

Now all I know

Your forgiveness and embrace.

7. Once Again - Matt Redman 

And once again I look upon the cross where you died

I'm humbled by your mercy and I'm broken inside

Once again I thank you

Once again I pour out my life

Pour out our life's to you

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7 SONGS ON THE NAME OF THE LORD - GRACE'S PLAYLIST

My next playlist features some of my favourite songs on the "Name of the Lord" or songs that have the phrase which mentions the Name of the Lord. Here goes the list in random order. Hope you enjoy!

1. Your Name | Paul Baloche

Your name

Is a strong and mighty tower

Your name

Is a shelter like no other

Your name

Let the nations sing it louder

'Cause nothing has the power to save

But Your name

Jesus, in Your name we pray

Come and fill our hearts today

Lord give us strength to live for You

And glorify Your name

2. Holy Forever | Chris Tomlin

Your name is the highest

Your name is the greatest

Your name stands above them all

All thrones and dominions

All powers and positions

Your name stands above them all

 

And the angels cry, Holy

All creation cries, Holy

You are lifted high, Holy

Holy forever

3. Blessed be Your Name | Matt Redman

Every blessing You pour out,
I'll turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in,
Lord still I will say

Blessed be the Name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the Name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away

My heart will choose to say

Lord blessed be Your name

4. Jesus, You're the sweetest name of all | John Jones

Jesus, You're the sweetest name of all

Jesus, You always hear me when I call

Oh, Jesus, You pick me up each time I fall

You're the sweetest, the sweetest name of all

5. What a Beautiful Name | Hillsong

What a beautiful Name it is

What a beautiful Name it is

The Name of Jesus Christ my King

What a beautiful Name it is

Nothing compares to this

What a beautiful Name it is

The Name of Jesus

You have no rival

You have no equal

Now and forever God You reign

Yours is the kingdom

Yours is the glory

Yours is the Name above all names

6.  Hallowed Be Thy Name | Steve Kuban

Hallowed be Thy Name

Jehovah God You reign

And You will never change, O Lord

Forever You're the same

1) Jehovah-Jireh

You supply my every need

Jehovah-Rapha

Perfect health You give to me

2) Jehovah-Shalom

You're the One who gives me peace

Jehovah-Rohi

My faithful Shepherd leading me

3) Jehovah-Mekaddesh

You're the One who makes me clean

Jehovah-Tsidkenu

Imparting righteousness to me

4) Jehovah-Nissi

Lord, You reign in victory

Jehovah-Shammah

You are always there for me

7. Worthy by Elevation Worship

Worthy is Your name, Jesus
You deserve the praise
Worthy is Your name
Worthy is Your name, Jesus
You deserve the praise
Worthy is Your name

Be exalted now in the heavens
As Your glory fills this place
You alone deserve our praise
You're the name above all names

These are my all time favourite songs! Hope you are blessed by the lyrics! Love you!

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LETTER TO MA AND PA

My dearest beloved Ma and Pa,

First, a BIG CONGRATULATIONS on completing 40 years together! Wow! where do I start? It’s such a ‘HUGE milestone!  I am so honored that I have been a part of this journey for the longest time, until Glo came along and joined us. I can’t tell how incredibly honored and blessed I am to be called your daughter and to be raised by you.

Though no amount of “Thank you’ s” can suffice what you have done for me during the past years. No amount of money can  compensate the love and sacrifices you have done for me. Even as a little girl, I have watched how you have always put me and my needs above everything else. With the limited amount of money we had, you have given me the best. There has not been a single day I was left hungry although we had hardly anything to eat in the initial days. You have made sure to give me the best clothing, the best house, the best education and above all taught me the Word of God. Introducing me to Jesus is the best gift of all that you have given me which I am grateful to you forever.

Growing up, I used to be unwell all the time because of asthma. And I remember you both staying up thousands of nights to be beside me, taking care of me, cleaning up the mess, giving me medication, and making sure I could breathe. Even till today. The reason I breathe today is because you gave me life and also saved my life. There would be no me without you. I can scream out loud that God gave me the best parents in the world! Not that I deserve, but that shows how much He loves me. 

Life is so much fun with constant entertainment in the house. I can say that we have laughed so much as a family. We have most fun when we make videos of us singing or acting whether it be pappa’s MGR/ Rajinikanth acting or mummy’s famous jokes. Especially when Glo makes us dance, I love how sportive you are and also participate in all our dumb games. More than parents you are our friend and I love the way we are so open to each other and can talk about anything under the sun. Even when we make wrong decisions you do not blame us but empathize with us and pray for us. 

I need to tell you a million thank yous for taking care of Jaden so amazingly well. Now that I am a parent (PS: I will always be your baby) I understand the struggles you have. Thank you for going out of your way and doing everything to keep us happy. I may not have been able to continue my career if it was not for you both to support me. You have been my constant support at every phase of my life and I can’t be more grateful and thankful to you and to the Almighty God for put me in your life. Thank you for always forgiving me and loving me even though I am stubborn at times. Your zillion prayers for us have kept us from falling.  You are the pillars of my life and I can’t do life without you.

We all know how fast life flies by.  I never want to look back and say, did I appreciate enough. I want to cherish every moment. One thing I admire all these years is that you have ALWAYS put GOD FIRST above everything else. And I know that’s the secret which makes this journey a blessing. We have had our highs and lows as a family, but God has kept us together, protected us and guided us and will continue to do so.

I’m coming to terms that life is like a vapor, we are here today and gone tomorrow. As long are you are with me, I want to tell you how much you mean to me in every possible way. Today as you celebrate God’s goodness and faithfulness in your lives, I wanted to pen my thoughts down to tell you how much I cherish you, love you, adore you and honor you with all my heart.  

Cheers to many more years of fun, laugher, and love together.

God bless you today, always and forever. 

I love you,

Your first born 😊

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7 SONGS OF COMFORT - GRACE'S PLAYLIST

This has been on my heart for a long time to create my own playlist of songs to upload on the net. So, I will be adding few songs close to my heart that I listen to when I am down or just need some comfort, especially during the storms of life.

This is my go-to playlist when that I have listened to  hundred times. These songs have personally ministered to me and encouraged me during tough times in this journey of life. Click on the title of the song to listen to it.

1. Thy will be done | Hillary Scott

This song has helped me get through my journey of bareness and miscarriage. Some of the lines are just penned out of my feelings. All I needed to do is to acknowledge the sovereignity of God and let His will be done. Here are my favourite lines from the song in random order.

I don't wanna think

I may never understand

That my broken heart is a part of your plan

When I try to pray

All I've got is hurt and these four words

Thy will be done

It's hard to count it all joy

Distracted by the noise

Just trying to make sense

Of all your promises

Sometimes I gotta stop

Remember that you're God

And I am not

2. Praise His Name | Gaither Music - ft. Jeff & Sheri Easter

When I felt like everything was falling apart and when my heart was broken, this song spoke to my heart. It healed my pain. It's amazing how a song can comfort you.

When everything falls apart praise His name

When you have a broken heart raise your hands and say

Lord, You're all I need, You're everything to me

And He'll take the pain away

3. When I cry | Gaither Music - ft. Marshall Hall, Guy Penrod, Wes Hampton

This is my all-time favourite songs ever. I love every line. I cry everytime I listen to it. It is so special  to me that whey I cry, He cries and when I'm hurt, he's hurt too. Isn't that sweet?

When I Cry makin' a list of all of the

Good things You've done for me

Lord, I've never been one to complain

But right now I'm lost and

I can't find my way

My world's come apart and

It's breakin' my heart

But it helps to know Your

Heart is breakin' too when I cry, You cry

When I hurt, You hurt when I've lost someone

It takes a piece of You, too

And when I fall on my face

You fill me with grace

'Cause nothin' breaks Your heart

Or tears You apart like when I cry

4. Praise You in the storm | Casting Crowns

If you have ever called me on my phone, you would have definitely heard this song. This is another life song. It reminds me to Praise God in every storm of life. Yes, I will raise my hand and praise the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise You in this storm

And I will lift my hands

For You are who You are

No matter where I am

And every tear I've cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

5. Grace | Laura Story

If not for God's grace upon my life, I wouldn't be alive today. He picks up every time we fall. His mercies are new every morning. His grace is sufficient for us. His strength is made perfect in our weakness.

I ask you, "How many times will you pick me up

When I keep on letting you down?"

And each time I will fall short of Your glory

How far will forgiveness abound?

And You answer, "My child, I love you

And as long as you're seeking My face

You'll walk in the power of My daily sufficient grace"

6. I will sing - Don Moen

This is the sincerest song /prayer ever. I can relate to the lyrics when I don't feel like praying and when I feel God is far. Yes, I will sing and praise Him through the sorrow and the pain.

Lord, You seem so far away

A million miles or more, it feels today

And though I haven't lost my faith

I must confess right now

That it's hard for me to pray

But I don't know what to say

And I don't know where to start

But as You give the grace

With all that's in my heart

I will sing, yes, I will praise, even in my darkest hour

Through the sorrow and the pain

I will sing, I will praise, lift my hands to honor You

Because Your word is true, I will sing

7. He will carry You | Scott Wesley Brown

This song is such an encouragement when you have a huge problem, mountain, storm or sorrow. A faith based comforting song that God will carry you through whatever you may be facing today.

There is no problem too big

God cannot solve it

There is no mountain too tall

God cannot move it

There is no storm too dark

God cannot calm it

There is no sorrow too deep

He cannot soothe it

Oh, if He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders

I know my brother that He will carry you

Hope you liked my playlist. If you have any song you listen to, please share with me. I would love to hear from you :)

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HEALING

 Healing is a process slow and sure,

Like the growth of a tree, it may be obscure.

But with time and care, it will endure,

And the wounds will finally be pure.

It's not just a physical mend,

But an emotional and spiritual blend.

It's a journey that requires a friend,

Someone to hold your hand until the end.

Healing is a choice we make each day,

To let go of the past and find a new way.

It's a chance to let our light shine and play,

And to live life in a brand new way.

So take a deep breath, and let it out,

And know that healing is what life's all about.

It's the beauty of falling and getting up,

And the strength it takes to heal, to be enough.

It's the journey that makes us who we are,

It's the scars that show how far we've come,

It's the healing that makes us shine like a star,

And the peace that comes when all is done.

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HOLD ON

 Feeling low, can't shake this cold

Can't escape this heavy load

Days are long and nights are cold

Wish that I could break this hold

Hold on, hold on

You're not alone

Hold on, hold on

You'll make it through

Thoughts are jumbled, can't think straight

Feels like everything's too late

Can't escape this pain inside

But I know you can get through alright

Hold on, hold on

You're not alone

Hold on, hold on

You'll make it through

You'll find the light in the darkest night

You'll make it through with all your might

Keep on fighting till the end

You'll be able walk alright again

Hold on, hold on

You're not alone

Hold on, hold on

You'll make it through

Hold on, hold on

You're not alone

You'll make it through this on ur own

Just a few more months to play

Hold on, hold on, 

You'll make it through another day.

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I WILL ALWAYS BE THANKFUL

I gave you my time.

I gave you my body.

I gave you my sleep.

I gave you my prayers, my tears, my nights, and my days.

There were moments where I felt like I gave you all of me.

Moments when I wondered if there was more of me left to give to you.

And in those moments when I felt like I had nothing left to give, I was reminded what you give to me.

You give me a new perspective, a better way to see the world.

You give me a new look at time. How it is precious, and how each moment counts.

You gave me a new body, one that is strong and powerful and flawed all at once.

You give me a new faith, one that knows I can’t do this life on my own strength.

You give me a new name, "mummy",  one that you say over and over, a name with so much meaning and worth.

You give me a new version of myself, one that is more compassionate, caring, and hopeful then the one before.

So even when I give you my body, time, sleep, days, and night, I know that it is worth it, that its meaningful, that these little moments matter.

That motherhood is full of seasons of giving and moments of receiving.

That even though this is one of the hardest things I have ever done, it is also the best thing I have ever done.

God gave me to you, and you to me, and for that I will always be thankful.

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A COVID 19 STORY OF HOPE

While last year we were chilling at home during the lockdown and making dalgona coffees, baking cakes, browsing for recipes and becoming master chefs, this year has been totally different. There isn’t a family or a relative or a friend of someone who isn’t affected by the corona virus. While we hear multiple sad stories around the world, I would like to share a story which might bring hope and encouragement to someone reading this post.

It was on Saturday the 17^th of April,  that I clearly remember, dad got fever and was extremely tired. For the next couple of days, I could see that his health began to deteriorate and he became very weak. Three days later, at around 12 in the night he said he had difficulty in breathing. We immediately rushed him to the hospital and he was given some drips and medication. The doctors asked us to monitor his temperature, oxygen and test for covid. The next day his PCR result was negative. He had already done the covid test twice before and they were all negative as well. He had continuous temperature. Two days later he had diarrhea, his oxygen slightly dropped and he could barely move. I checked with a doctor nearby and he advised us to get him admitted to an hospital immediately. This was exactly one week after the first instance of the symptom.

We called many hospitals and informed many of our near and dear ones to find some hospital but could not get a bed. Also, since his test was negative, we couldn’t get the government to allocate a bed for him. We then reached out to dad's friend who owns a hospital and we took him there. Immediately they did a CT scan which showed traces of covid. Although there were no available bed in the hospital, they accommodated him and made special arrangements to get him admitted by God’s grace. They started the covid treatment immediately. They then ran few tests and confirmed it’s covid.  Those few days of him being in the hospital was one of the toughest days. None of us could meet him. Once a day he texted/ called and said he was doing okay. We also tried a lot to get the remedesivir injections for him since the hospital had run out of stock. We nearly made 100 calls altogether. We finally got them as well purely by Gods mercy. It was a miracle that 5 days later we got a call that dad can be discharged. God has been extremely kind to us. We were overjoyed to welcome him back home. Although he had to be quarantined for 14 days, we were quite relieved that he is out of danger. 

Finally, we got him tested after 14 days and he was negative. He finally walked out of the closed doors of his room 2 days ago. At 69, he fought covid and he is back to being healthy again. Yesterday, (13^th May) he preached his first sermon post his covid experience. We’ve had loads of people praying for dad. I would like to really thank you all for your care, concern and prayers.

There is hope at 69. Don’t give up. This too shall pass. My prayers are with those who are fighting this battle at the moment. I also know few couldn’t make it and it really hurts. My heart goes out to their families. We don’t really understand why but we will soon see them on the other side of the shore. We can survive all this. God gives us the strength. Soon, new mornings will come. The flowers will bloom, and the streets will become active. The sun will shine more brightly. The best is yet to come. Hang in there.

Leaving behind a scripture from Psalm 91 that God gave me during this unprecedented time:

“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him.”

Latest picture of dad and me <3

If not, He is still good.

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PROOF OF ANSWERED PRAYERS

Sadly, my birthday month is coming to an end! Oh, how I love July! 😊 beside the month of July, October and December are my favorites too! Days are flying the fastest ever, isn't it? In fact, the first half of this year has been like a blink of an eye! Amidst the pandemic and all the weird things happening on earth, I am somewhat at peace, knowing that the supreme God is in control of EVERYTHING!

Like every year, I pen down my birthday verse or something that I have been meditating during my birthday month/ week and asking God to give me that Rhema from heaven. This year I’m super excited to share with you the same. I was reading Psalm 34, on my birthday and verse 4 stood out to me so clearly. It says,

“I sought the LORD, and He answered me.”

When dad prayed for me also he mentioned the same lines of the verse. Immediately I knew it was my birthday verse, with that as a confirmation. I have been meditating of how God has been so good to me. Indeed, that’s been my testimony the whole of my life. I have had so many answers to prayers. Some super silly ones like, “Lord please give me a smiling baby” to “Lord please give me a fossil watch”. And I have got both. I think, I kind of tell God very specifically what I want. I have even told God I want a husband like my dad. It’s super funny how Solomon and my dad have some exactly similar answers to some of the conversations I have with them. God is a PRAYER ANSWERING GOD. He loves to hear His children.

Just like I listen to my baby; God listens to us, His babies. My biggest answer to prayer is Jaden, my son. We named him JADEN, meaning “God has heard” in Hebrew. Every time we call Jaden, it’s a reminder that God indeed hears and answers our prayers. Having said that, I want to encourage you all to wait on the Lord. In His time, He will answer your prayers according to His will. Meanwhile, make your silly requests specific like I do 😉

This picture is a proof that God answers prayers!

I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of Him. I Samuel 1:27

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I'M AT MY BREAKING POINT

I had to peace-out this week…

I have been burning out. And from that depleted place, I was becoming a version of myself I didn’t quite like. A wing of a bird to fly away to the mountain is what I needed to take a break and recover. I had reached my breaking point!

Google defines “Breaking point” as, “The point at which something breaks down or gives way. The breaking point of something is the point at which stress has increased so much that things begin to fall apart or break down. Before something has reached its breaking point, it has undergone many trials and tensions.” I have been physically exhausted, mentally drained, socially overstimulated, emotionally emptied, spiritually weary and creatively uninspired. That’s exactly the state I had reached.

Everyone reaches their breaking point in their life when life throws weight at you and you throw back the weight at life. Have you every felt like you reached your boiling point? Maybe it could be something like a personal relationship or may be a failing health, financial, emotional or just physical exhaustion? What do I do in such a state?

The scripture connects to one such character, Martha who was so worked up and stressed that she complains to Jesus about her situation. Lord Jesus says, “Martha, dear Martha, you’re fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it—it’s the main course, and won’t be taken from her.” (Luke 10:41-42 MSG)

Yes, I had to take off and just sit before God. I had to:

1. Repent before God.

I had to talk to God. I was like, “God, I’m coming back to you. I need you more than ever. I can’t do this on my own. I give my life into your hands. I’m sorry for not including You in my busy schedule”. I had to be honest before Him.

2. Repair my heart.

My heart was all over the place. My heart kept going to the wrong places. My heart needed to love God more than my family, food and friends. My heart was busy. My heart was broken. My heart had to be fixed. I had to give my heart to God. My heart needed a repair.

3. Refocus on my calling. 

I know that I have been put on this planet for a purpose. I am here to do a job. I am here to live for Him. I am here to glorify His name. I am here to obey His calling. I need to burn with passion for Him. I need to hear God speak to me.

4. Realign my life. 

I know this is one of the biggest causes of burnout. I need keep myself from drifting away from the goal set before me. I need to align with the gifts and talents God’s given me and use it for Him. I need the kind of energy that motivates me. I need to enjoy life.

5. Reset my priorities. 

I need to stop and think what is important. I need to focus on what will make me happy rather than those that drag me down. I need to put my energy on things that nourish my body, soul and spirit. I need to avoid things that might dehydrate my joy.

6. Reorganize my day. 

Lock-down doesn’t mean that they day is different from the non-lock-down days. The day must begin and end with God. Rather God must be God is in my every day. He must take precedence in every thought, every decision and every action.

7. Restart my writing.

They say do what you love. And half the stress is gone. I love doing the things that make me happy.  I love designing. I love creativity. I love writing.  I need to be passionate about what I do. I need to make time for things I love to do.

Some one said, “Sometimes you have to reach your breaking point in order to breakthrough!”

I’m experiencing my season of breakthrough, are you?

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GOD, YOU ARE STILL GOOD

If your life story was ever written as a book, what would the theme be? I read these themes in an article — “Family faces financial crisis,” “Doctors declare incurable disease,” “Anxiety and fear become crippling,” whatever it is you’re going through — it’s not over.  Be encouraged today that, whatever you may be facing today is temporary! God is waiting to be good to you!

If my life story was to be given a theme, it would be, "Goodness of God"! I can boldly testify saying that my life has been full of Goodness of God in every season. I may be in the fire or furnace, mountain or a valley, I could see His Goodness in every way. Even if the answer is not what I want, God is still good!

When we are faced with a problem, there are three questions we can ask ourselves:

Do you see? 
Can you see the goodness of God in your life, despite the bad? Take a moment to find evidence of His goodness.

Do you hear? 
If you can’t see the goodness of God, can you hear what He’s saying to you about your situation?

Do you remember? 
If you can’t see God’s goodness, and you can’t hear what He’s saying, you can always remember what He has done for you in the past. Take a moment and reflect on all that God has done for you in the past months or years. Celebrate His goodness! You will realize that God's goodness runs after you in every season!

The song, Goodness of God" hit me so hard. It rings so true in my heart. While listening, I was holding my baby in my arms. I was thrown in an sea of memories, it has been always been amazing how God remained soooo faithful to me all my life. But this fact have never been so clearer, after a swelled heart, tears started running down my cheeks, I held my little one tight, kissed him and remembered that: he is the biggest GOODNESS OF GOD IN MY LIFE. I declare this song upon his dear life. That just as the goodness of God has been upon his mama, that the same goodness be upon him.

If at all one song that speaks my life, it is this one. The lyrics are so beautifully written:

Verse 1

I love You Lord

Oh Your mercy never fails me

All my days

I’ve been held in Your hands

From the moment that I wake up

Until I lay my head

I will sing of the goodness of God

Chorus

All my life You have been faithful

All my life You have been so, so good

With every breath that I am able

I will sing of the goodness of God

Verse 2

I love Your voice

You have led me through the fire

In darkest nights

You are close like no other

I’ve known You as a father

I’ve known You as a friend

I have lived in the goodness of God

Bridge

Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me

Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me

With my life laid down, I’m surrendered now, I give You everything

Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me

My anthem this year. What a priceless reminder that God has been there every moment and I have always and will always live in His goodness!  Hope this song blesses you as it has blessed me!

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BEING JONATHAN

You will meet Davids, you will meet lot of Sauls but Jonathans are the rarest breed. Jonathan knew that David is the hero of the story, yet chose to stick to his side. David was going to sit on the throne which belonged to Jonathan naturally. Jonathan knew that David was going to take His throne, that God favoured David more, that people favoured David yet chose to Love David without entertaining jealousy in his heart. We live in a world where jealousy gets sparked over everything and anything. "God favors you more than me. God is blessing you more than me. People love you more than me. You are getting promoted...These things make me happy because I really love you" is a Jonathan's heart. A Jonathan will release celebration where everyone will release jealousy. If someone being favored more, loved more or being blessed hurts you then you need to work on your heart.

* Not my own. Read it on the net and loved the thought.

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ANNOUNCING MY SECOND BOOK!

Btw I started to read my book all over again and to be honest, I can't believe the person who wrote it was me. I have so much to learn from the younger me! Sometimes, we all go off track a bit and so it’s nice to realign. I'm thankful for this book and whenever I feel low or uninspired, it picks me back up. It just shows that learning is a constant journey. As long as you don’t give up on yourself and keep going. I had the best time writing this book for you.

As some of you already know that I have been compiling my second book and the cover is ready! Yaaayyyyyy! Here is the first look! :)

While compiling my second book, I suddenly want to write another book. If I do, what kind of book would you like to read? Should I? 

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I WANT TO BE POOH

It occurred to Pooh 🐻 and Piglet 🐷 that they hadn't heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats 🎩 and coats 🧥 and trotted across the Hundred Acre Wood🌲 to Eeyore's stick house. Inside the house was Eeyore.
"Hello Eeyore," said Pooh. 
"Hello Pooh. 🐻 Hello Piglet 🐷" said Eeyore, in a Glum Sounding Voice 
"We just thought we'd check in on you," said Piglet, "because we hadn't heard from you, and so we wanted to know if you were okay."
Eeyore was silent for a moment. "Am I okay?" he asked, eventually. "Well, I don't know, to be honest. Are any of us really okay? That's what I ask myself. All I can tell you, Pooh and Piglet, is that right now I feel really rather Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. 
Which is why I haven't bothered you. Because you wouldn't want to waste your time hanging out with someone who is Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All, would you now."
Pooh looked and Piglet, and Piglet looked at Pooh, and they both sat down, one on either side of Eeyore in his stick house.
Eeyore looked at them in surprise. "What are you doing?"
"We're sitting here with you," said Pooh, "because we are your friends. And true friends don't care if someone is feeling Sad, or Alone, or Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. True friends are there for you anyway. And so here we are." 💜💚
"Oh," said Eeyore. "Oh." And the three of them sat there in silence, and while Pooh and Piglet said nothing at all; somehow, almost imperceptibly, Eeyore started to feel a very tiny little bit better. 🥰
Because Pooh and Piglet were There.
No more; no less.
A.A.Milne
E.H.Shepard

*This is not my own story, I read it online and posted it here since I loved it

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KINDNESS IS CONTAGIOUS

“Why aren’t you are planning for kids?” 

“It’s been long you have been married!”

“All your friends have kids!”

“Why are you delaying so much?”

“You are getting old!” 

“It’s high time you start trying!”

These were some things people told me a couple of years ago. Some of them were indeed painful as I had an unspoken health issue. I had prayed, cried and literally begged God to heal me. How do I tell everyone that I have been going through a tough journey battling with my health? We all have our own battles to fight. They are sometimes are unspoken and cannot be published on Facebook walls. During such phase that I read this quote:

“Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”

Oh, how true that is!

UNSPOKEN KINDNESS

Life isn’t what we plan. How often we judge someone and wonder why they not getting married, why they are not having a baby, why they are not having another baby, why they are separated, why they are divorced, why they left their job, why they dress in a certain way and a million things! I have learned that I am no one to judge as they might be fighting an unspoken battle. All I can do is be kind to them.

UNDESERVED KINDNESS

God has been extremely KIND to me by healing me and especially by giving me a baby. As every year I pick up a phrase a verse to mediate, I had been asking God what should work on this year. And time and time again I am reminded that I need to work on being KIND this year. When I didn’t deserve, God was kind to me and I would want to reciprocate kindness to those around me. I want to be so full of KINDNESS that it becomes contagious.

UNCONTAINABLE KINDNESS

I have so many personal stories to share with you about how the kindness of God and people has been a thread throughout my life especially this year. Ever since my baby has been born there have been numerous ways that people have shown us extra kindness in giving us all that our baby needs. From baby crib, carrier, car seat, stroller, trolley, dining chair, toys, bather, tub, blankets, silver, gold, numerous clothes and what not. My heart is uncontainable as it is filled with stories of kindness.

UNEXPERIENCED KINDNESS

We may not always know what people battle are battling in life. When tempted to be unkind, I put myself in their shoes and remind myself that:
They did not choose to be in that position
Who am I to judge?
They might have an unspoken pain
How can I be kind to them?

Kindness is more than just something to read about in a book, it cannot be explained in words. It's something to be experienced. My greatest hope is that you will experience kindness and you share the same to those around you.

Coz kindness is contagious!

Leaving behind a scripture that I love:
 “Praise the LORD, my soul, and do not forget how kind he is.” Psalm 103:2

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THE BUMPY JOURNEY

My month by month bumpy shots :)

Well, it ’s taken me few days, on and off to compile all my bump shots, and considering I have a little gentleman who loves to snuggle, I’d say I’m finally here to post my story. It’s crazy looking back at my belly month by month and realizing that was our little Jaden growing in there. It boggles my mind how life can grow inside a belly so small. The Creator is excellent at His creation!

I’m so glad I have this to look back at one day and show Jaden these (if he’s interested). Of course, he will have to listen to his mom's 11-hour labor story for the rest of his life :)

Like few mothers, I was dreading about the labor pain that I had heard about. I always used to think what if I die during the labor? Who will look after the baby and all kinds of questions kept popping in my mind? Until one night I dreamt like someone was telling me, "Don't panic. I'm with you. There's no need to fear for I'm your God. I'll give you strength. I'll help you. I'll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.". When I woke up, I googled and found out that it's from Isaiah 41:10. And that week, dad also spoke about this verse in a random sermon. Later, I saw this verse on someone's facebook wall. It was like a confirmation that God was saying, I am with you. So I decided that I will embrace every uncomfortable position, every heartburn, every contraction, every hip pain, back pain, all the tossing and turnings, sleepless nights and all that comes with being pregnant. As it is worth it!

As I type, I am reminded of all women who would give the world to be in my place. Who perhaps couldn't get to full term, who maybe haven't been able to get pregnant, who are aching at every pregnancy photo they see. THIS IS FOR YOU:

“SOMETIMES WHEN YOU ARE IN A DARK PLACE, YOU THINK YOU HAVE BEEN BURIED, BUT ACTUALLY YOU HAVE BEEN PLANTED.”

Although I had a very hard journey of conceiving and super painful labor, God was with me throughout this journey. God wanted me to go through this to encourage someone going through a similar bumpy journey as mine. Like I always say, His promise still stands!

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HAPPINESS

Today I have my cousin, Meryl as a guest writer on my blog. This is his first writing. I thought he totally rocked it. So here is some inspirational stuff for you guys:

Life is tough. 

You can't always 

be happy in life. 

There's always 

tough times. 

Good things cannot 

be there for long time. 

But what matters is 

how you can make 

yourself happy. 

Happiness is a 

wonderful feeling 

but it's really hard 

to find happiness 

in the world nowadays. 

Things change, 

people change in your life. 

Moving on is very tough 

but then it's worth moving on 

rather than being upset 

about the things 

that have happened. 

Staying happy 

motivates yourself, 

to do something 

extra each day. 

No matter how people are

 you treat them well. 

Do good to others. 

And as always 

BE A GOOD PERSON! 

Stay positive and be happy in life🙂

- Meryl

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"I'M FINE" - I JUST LIED

Why didn’t anyone tell me this? Why didn’t anyone say it would be this hard? Why didn’t anyone tell me about the real challenges of motherhood?

I feel like it’s been ages since I got time to post something on my blog. My whole life has changed ever since our baby was born. All I can say is we mothers need God’s mercies every day. The journey from the time I stepped into the labor room has been a challenging one. While healing physically, adjusting to the postpartum hormonal roller coaster, and worrying if my baby is getting enough food, I feel so lost and lonely. Here is something that I read that speaks my heart!

“When a mother says she's tired, that's all she meant!

She did not say she wants to drop her son and forget that he or she exists.

When a mother says she wanted some time alone, just her, that's all she meant!

She didn't say she's sorry to be a mother and that motherhood was a mistake in her life.

When a mother says she needs help to get things done, that's exactly what she meant!

She is not saying that she is incapable.

When a mother makes noodles for dinner, it does not mean she does noodles every day of the week and that her son/daughter is a child who does not know vegetables and meats.

When you arrive at a mother's house and face disorganization, it doesn't mean that every day that house is disorganized.

When a mother says she'd love to go out with her friends, that's all she meant! She doesn't want to go back to being "Single / not a mother" and like it as if she had no responsibility.

When a mother says she's worried and afraid, that's what she meant! She didn't say she's going to falter, and much less she's a coward.

When you listen to a mother screaming, it doesn't mean she just screams, probably she has spoken 300 times with normal voice tone.

When you see a nervous mother, on the edge of madness, doesn't mean every day she's in that situation.

There is a whole context, a whole situation.

Do not invent untruths to judge someone, let alone a woman who every day, at all times, gives up her own life to live the life of another being that she knows is much more important than her.

In the world there is no human being able to give up and donate as much as a mother!

And they deserve a lot of understanding and fewer trials”

Next to “I have read and agreed to the Terms and Conditions”, “I’m fine” is the most often told lie in the English language. I just want to let you know that anyone who is feeling down, I am here for you. to listen, to support and to share this journey with you. Postpartum depression is real! And we will overcome this! Hugs to all moms out there!

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A DAY TO REMEMBER

It was the day before my sister's wedding. My husband woke me up while I was still sleeping and he said can you do the pee-test? My answer was NO. I don't want to spoil my mood since I had done the pee-test several times before and it was negative. It was a happy atmosphere at home that day. My relatives had all arrived for my sister's wedding and I didn't want to be down and depressed.

My husband and I have been praying for a baby for a while now. But this time something was different. Even before we took the test, he kept telling congratulations the whole month. However, he forced me out of bed that morning. I unwillingly did the pee-test and didn't even bother looking at the result. I was looking out of the window and then I went back to throw the stick. But...wait a min... guess what...It had TWO LINES which means positive. I just couldn't believe my eyes! How could it be? My mind became blank! I went and called my husband and showed him and he started crying! We had been waiting for this for so long. We hugged each other. I told him until I get the blood test, let's wait. We quickly arrived at the clinic and they confirmed that indeed I was pregnant!

God has been so good to us in this painful journey! Solomon and I have cried a lot of times together. When everyone else around us had babies, we felt heartbroken. We prayed to God every night.  Needless to say, those were some really dark days. But looking back, something that could have torn us apart became our biggest strength. We clung together for strength and for understanding. We asked God for help and depended on Him like never before. God is a God who hears and answers our prayers. God indeed showed His mercy on us. I strongly believe that there is a purpose behind every pain.

God showed me a few reasons why we had to undergo this journey:

1. So that we depend on God and He gets the glory
2. So that we encourage and empathy others going through this journey
3. So that we value the child and not take this gift lightly
4. So that we get closer to Him and close to each other.
5. So that we testify His miracle-working power.

Every sequence of that day is fresh in our memories. Ever since that day till now whomever, we shared it with had rejoiced with us.

It is a day to remember all our lives!

I would like to encourage whoever reads this post. Whatever may be your problem, God is able to do the impossible. Keep praying, keep trusting, you will have a day to remember too!

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