THE BUMPY JOURNEY

My month by month bumpy shots :)

Well, it ’s taken me few days, on and off to compile all my bump shots, and considering I have a little gentleman who loves to snuggle, I’d say I’m finally here to post my story. It’s crazy looking back at my belly month by month and realizing that was our little Jaden growing in there. It boggles my mind how life can grow inside a belly so small. The Creator is excellent at His creation!

I’m so glad I have this to look back at one day and show Jaden these (if he’s interested). Of course, he will have to listen to his mom's 11-hour labor story for the rest of his life :)

Like few mothers, I was dreading about the labor pain that I had heard about. I always used to think what if I die during the labor? Who will look after the baby and all kinds of questions kept popping in my mind? Until one night I dreamt like someone was telling me, "Don't panic. I'm with you. There's no need to fear for I'm your God. I'll give you strength. I'll help you. I'll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.". When I woke up, I googled and found out that it's from Isaiah 41:10. And that week, dad also spoke about this verse in a random sermon. Later, I saw this verse on someone's facebook wall. It was like a confirmation that God was saying, I am with you. So I decided that I will embrace every uncomfortable position, every heartburn, every contraction, every hip pain, back pain, all the tossing and turnings, sleepless nights and all that comes with being pregnant. As it is worth it!

As I type, I am reminded of all women who would give the world to be in my place. Who perhaps couldn't get to full term, who maybe haven't been able to get pregnant, who are aching at every pregnancy photo they see. THIS IS FOR YOU:

“SOMETIMES WHEN YOU ARE IN A DARK PLACE, YOU THINK YOU HAVE BEEN BURIED, BUT ACTUALLY YOU HAVE BEEN PLANTED.”

Although I had a very hard journey of conceiving and super painful labor, God was with me throughout this journey. God wanted me to go through this to encourage someone going through a similar bumpy journey as mine. Like I always say, His promise still stands!

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"I'M FINE" - I JUST LIED

Why didn’t anyone tell me this? Why didn’t anyone say it would be this hard? Why didn’t anyone tell me about the real challenges of motherhood?

I feel like it’s been ages since I got time to post something on my blog. My whole life has changed ever since our baby was born. All I can say is we mothers need God’s mercies every day. The journey from the time I stepped into the labor room has been a challenging one. While healing physically, adjusting to the postpartum hormonal roller coaster, and worrying if my baby is getting enough food, I feel so lost and lonely. Here is something that I read that speaks my heart!

“When a mother says she's tired, that's all she meant!

She did not say she wants to drop her son and forget that he or she exists.

When a mother says she wanted some time alone, just her, that's all she meant!

She didn't say she's sorry to be a mother and that motherhood was a mistake in her life.

When a mother says she needs help to get things done, that's exactly what she meant!

She is not saying that she is incapable.

When a mother makes noodles for dinner, it does not mean she does noodles every day of the week and that her son/daughter is a child who does not know vegetables and meats.

When you arrive at a mother's house and face disorganization, it doesn't mean that every day that house is disorganized.

When a mother says she'd love to go out with her friends, that's all she meant! She doesn't want to go back to being "Single / not a mother" and like it as if she had no responsibility.

When a mother says she's worried and afraid, that's what she meant! She didn't say she's going to falter, and much less she's a coward.

When you listen to a mother screaming, it doesn't mean she just screams, probably she has spoken 300 times with normal voice tone.

When you see a nervous mother, on the edge of madness, doesn't mean every day she's in that situation.

There is a whole context, a whole situation.

Do not invent untruths to judge someone, let alone a woman who every day, at all times, gives up her own life to live the life of another being that she knows is much more important than her.

In the world there is no human being able to give up and donate as much as a mother!

And they deserve a lot of understanding and fewer trials”

Next to “I have read and agreed to the Terms and Conditions”, “I’m fine” is the most often told lie in the English language. I just want to let you know that anyone who is feeling down, I am here for you. to listen, to support and to share this journey with you. Postpartum depression is real! And we will overcome this! Hugs to all moms out there!

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