Showing posts with label depressed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label depressed. Show all posts

Saturday, January 19, 2019

"I'M FINE" - I JUST LIED



Why didn’t anyone tell me this? Why didn’t anyone say it would be this hard? Why didn’t anyone tell me about the real challenges of motherhood?

I feel like it’s been ages since I got time to post something on my blog. My whole life has changed ever since our baby was born. All I can say is we mothers need God’s mercies every day. The journey from the time I stepped into the labor room has been a challenging one. While healing physically, adjusting to the postpartum hormonal roller coaster, and worrying if my baby is getting enough food, I feel so lost and lonely. Here is something that I read that speaks my heart!

“When a mother says she's tired, that's all she meant!

She did not say she wants to drop her son and forget that he or she exists.

When a mother says she wanted some time alone, just her, that's all she meant!

She didn't say she's sorry to be a mother and that motherhood was a mistake in her life.

When a mother says she needs help to get things done, that's exactly what she meant!

She is not saying that she is incapable.

When a mother makes noodles for dinner, it does not mean she does noodles every day of the week and that her son/daughter is a child who does not know vegetables and meats.

When you arrive at a mother's house and face disorganization, it doesn't mean that every day that house is disorganized.

When a mother says she'd love to go out with her friends, that's all she meant! She doesn't want to go back to being "Single / not a mother" and like it as if she had no responsibility.

When a mother says she's worried and afraid, that's what she meant! She didn't say she's going to falter, and much less she's a coward.

When you listen to a mother screaming, it doesn't mean she just screams, probably she has spoken 300 times with normal voice tone.

When you see a nervous mother, on the edge of madness, doesn't mean every day she's in that situation.

There is a whole context, a whole situation.

Do not invent untruths to judge someone, let alone a woman who every day, at all times, gives up her own life to live the life of another being that she knows is much more important than her.

In the world there is no human being able to give up and donate as much as a mother!

And they deserve a lot of understanding and fewer trials”

Next to “I have read and agreed to the Terms and Conditions”, “I’m fine” is the most often told lie in the English language. I just want to let you know that anyone who is feeling down, I am here for you. to listen, to support and to share this journey with you. Postpartum depression is real! And we will overcome this! Hugs to all moms out there!

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Thursday, March 3, 2016

WHY I BLOG


When I was 9, I cried in a bathroom because my relatives told that I was dark and my sister was fair. So I was insecure about my skin color.

At 12, I hid under the cot since I had a big nose. So I wouldn't like to meet the guests at who came home.

At 14, I cringed when we had to take class photos during school picnic because I was short and thought I was ugly. So I hid my picture.

At 20, I cried when that boy broke my heart because he met a prettier girl. So I felt nobody would ever like me and I would never get married.

At 22, I when everyone had their ministry, I was depressed that I couldn't preach or sing like my dad or sister did.

At 24, I realized that I had spent the first two decades of my life believing the lie that I needed to be perfect. Clean, crisp and poised. So I did all I could to hide my messes. My insecurities. My doubt. My discouragement.

But the truth is that I always felt out of place. I felt too messy and awkward and ugly.

And that's half the reason why my blog has messy and unusual stories. But the truth is that it's a sanctuary for me, where I can pour out my heart before God. A place where I can drop the filters and be the sad little girl that hid in a bathroom. Except there's no hiding under the cot, no comparison, no judgment, no holding back. It's me, my heart poured out in every color, scratch, and squiggle. Because I had found comfort and confidence in one place alone - at Jesus' feet. And today, it's still the only place I'm free to drop the filters, to feel imperfect and ugly without wanting to hide, and free to be messy with a God who adores every ounce of me. And my out-pour on the page is out of my own experiences. It is to encourage you that there is hope in Christ alone.

God has turned my mess into a message. It's true for you, too. So if you're feeling fat, short or ugly or heartbroken or discouraged or messed up: that's okay. There is HOPE!

Your greatest testimony is that you went through fire but you don't smell like smoke!

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