Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts

Thursday, November 30, 2017

CHRISTIAN ONE LINERS




Life without God is like an unsharpened pencil, it has no point

What really counts in life is the dash between date born - date died on the tombstone!

Many Christians have stopped being fishers of men and are now only keepers of the aquarium.

You don't stop laughing when you get old, you get old when you stop laughing!

"Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives"

"In the dark? Follow the Son."

A smile is curved line which sets a lot of things straight.

If you are born once, you shall die twice, but if you are born twice, you die only once.

Some preachers should put more fire in their sermons, and some sermons in the fire.

Prevent 'Sin burn' by using 'Son Screen'.

The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails= 4 given.

We don't change the message, the message changes us.

We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.

Man's way leads to a hopeless end - God's way leads to an endless hope

Every Christian occupies some kind of a pulpit and preaches some kind of a sermon every day.

No person is so poor that he can not give a compliment.

"This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?"

Humility is so shy, that if you begin talking about it, it disappears.

Delayed obedience is brother to disobedience.

Dear God, I have a problem, it's Me.

When we get tangled up in our problems, be still, so God can untangle the knot.

Either the Bible will keep you away from sin, or sin will keep you away from the Bible!

Do you wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," or "Good Lord, it's morning."?

God gave us two ears and one mouth, so listen twice as much as you speak.

If you talk the talk, then walk the walk.
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Sunday, December 25, 2016

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Click on the picture to watch us dance :)

Merry Christmas everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here is a simple poem about Christmas Time that I read by Ronald Doe. Hope you enjoy! :)

Christmas time is finally here.
It only comes but once a year,
And it's a time to spread good cheer
To those we love and hold so dear.

Christmas time is a time of glee,
A time when peace and love run free,
A time for those like you and me
To sit beneath the Christmas tree.

Christmas time is a time of joy,
A time to sit back and enjoy
The smile on each girl and boy,
As they play with a Christmas toy.

Christmas time is a time to share
The passing of another year.
Birth of Jesus, a joyful prayer,
To show loved ones how much we care.

Christmas time is a time for song,
A time for us to get along,
To make us feel Lord Jesus strong,
Forgive all those who did us wrong.

Christmas time is a time to pray,
Put love and kindness on display,
Show compassion along the way.
Christmas time should be every day.
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Thursday, October 30, 2014

BRIDAL SHOWERS

Happiness ism my BRIDESMAIDS

These pictures were taken last few moments before my big day.


Thank you girls for the wonderful lunch...so blessed to have you all in my life. Thank you Eunice for making these girls look even more pretty :)



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Wednesday, March 12, 2014

MOM'S ONE-LINERS

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MA, MOM, MUMMY.............

I have no idea what I would have done if this lady wasn't in my life...Thank you for all your love and sacrifice ma!


This time I'm not writing a poem for you but just wanno recall your popular one-liners :)

Wake up its late
Did you turn off the lights?
Have your breakfast
Take your plate to the kitchen
Have some fruits
Eat this vegetable
Drink water
Change you dress is too tight
Take a sweter. Take a jacket.
Take one anyway.
Hurry up.
Hurry up. Everyone is waiting.
Take some money
Did you reach?
When are you coming?
Get some milk on the way
Oh I forgot get some tomatoes
Don’t fight with you sister
Say hello to uncle/aunty
Behave
Switch off the laptop and eat
Did you wash your hand?
Have snacks after food.
Move your glass. It's too close to the table.
How many times have I told you don't do that.
Always on the phone
Why is he calling you often
Can you stop texting and listen
Clean you room
Don’t throw your shoes in front of the TV
Who did this mess?
I'll think about it.
Not now.
Ask your father.
Keep your bag inside
Put on the motor
Cover the car
Put off the TV
Lock the door(L-O-C-K)
Keep the footwear inside
Go to bed its late
etccccccccccccc...........

Thank God for you MA... Love you!
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Monday, November 22, 2010

WHEN UPON LIFE'S BILLOWS

This blog writting is by hannah, my dearst friend who is a guest editor of my blog. I reeely loved this one, my eyes were filled with tears and there was a smile on my face when I read this. Thank you so much. Love you, Hannah.


Grace and I went to same college, which was far away from our homes. We stayed in same hostel faced same problems. Right from homesickness to culture shock. We met people who lived lives that were 10 yrs ancient. Life went on we have joy and tears. One thing that we dint realize until late was that when upon life's billows tossed us, we still had something to laugh about, we had something to smile about.

Grace's dad who treated me like a family member was suddenly diagnosed with cancer in the urinary bladder. All of us were upset. We could not believe that a man who lived a much-disciplined life-style could be affected with any health issues. Thankfully, the good Lord opened all the ways and best doctors treated uncle and operated the lump. While uncle was still in bed, many people visited him. Aunty was a very sweet person very nervous and anxious just like any other wife and mother would be. The environment in the hospital was quiet and people came with lot of empathy and there was a lot of seriousness in the air. Aunty was so nervous and told one friend "yes, they removed this lump from his uterus (exists only in women)." Uncle who was in bed could not laugh as it was his urinary bladder that was operated indeed and it would hurt if he added pressure on it by laughing. When uncle was fine enough to talk, he said in a funny tone, "some people have created rumors that I have a uterus."

When grace was conversing about this funny event that occurred in the hospital, I realized that when upon life's billows you are tempest tossed God still sheds a ray of hope and gives you a reason to laugh and smile.
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Friday, October 8, 2010

CONFESSION OF A PRECHER'S KID

Being a Preacher's kid is not very easy. Must say! Well... me and my sis, Glory have come up with some advantages and disadvantages of being a Preacher/ Pastor's Kids. I bet you that those of us who are Pastor's kid will agree with us on few of these things mentioned below. This blog article is dedicated to DAD, with love Grace & Glory

PS: No offense to anyone. This is purely for fun!!!



ADVANTAGES OF BEING THE PRECHER'S KID

1. Sneaking into the Church when no one’s around and cranking up the sound system, using the church instruments and pretending to be rock stars!

2. Getting to hang out with other Preacher's Kids and realizing we weren’t as messed up as we thought we were!

3. Having a command of King James English (Ex: Thou, Thee etc) will come in handy if we ever decide to become Shakespearean actors.

4. Building massive muscles by lifting Dad's set of Bible Commentaries, Concordance and Dakes Bible at home. (Obviously coz its has infinite number of pages)

5. Being made the captain of the Church cricket team even if you are the worst player in the team.

6. Getting introduced personally to the special guest speaker who visits our church :D

7. The entire congregation is super nice and kind to you in church (it's not the same at your work place, isn't it)

DISADVANTAGES OF BEING THE PRECHER'S KID

1. Having every stupid thing we ever said and did used as a sermon illustration.

2. Always being called on to answer the tough Bible questions during quiz.

3. Always being in the lime light and mom asking us to behave ourselves in the Church.

4. Your prayer will be evaluated for its volume, content, dramatic presentation and length. Ex: Like how many "ums" used in the prayer.

5. Always being the topic of discussion for church members for every small thing said and done (Ex: oh, Pastor's kid!!!)

6. The entire church wanting to know how much percentage we scored in our board exams.




Kindly add in if i have forgotten someting :P
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Friday, October 1, 2010

YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING


A couple of weeks ago I heard this story of this young guy who graduated from school. When he wanted to step into college, his dad told him to begin to praying for his future. So the young guy prayed for three things that he always wanted to have in life.
Namely, For:
1. A bag full of money
2. A big vehicle to travel
3. Lot of girls around him
He then graduated and he got a job as a conductor in a girls bus, where he had a bag full of money, in a bus with lota girls around him. Be careful about what you pray, coz God answers your prayers!!! :) :D ;)

Some of our prayers are kinda silly. So I guess we need to be a lil carefull while we pray. For some of my prayers I bet God would say, “You've gotta be kidding”!!! :) lol :D

Btw God must be smiling when He reads some of these prayers below:




lol, kids are so cute and innocent. Aren’t they?? =) Hope it made u smile too as it made me smile =)
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Friday, September 24, 2010

NOT G-TALK BUT G-LAUGH

Wanno share one of my gtalk chats wid u... This is d typical Chat between Hannah and me... its purely fa fun nthn else... Dedicated to hannah... i think me n u have the best chat on this earth... our code words rock!!! luv chattin wid u hannah... wud continue more of it!!! :)))


hannah: grace hi
me: hi hannah hw u
hannah: hw r u?
me gud
hannah: im fyn too grace
:)
me: u kno wat? did u c dis pic on fb?
www.facebook.com/xxx/album/xxxx.jpg
hannah: no grace will see now
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
is thissssssssssssssssssssssss
me: i knoooooooooo
hannahthetribe: :)majorrrrrrrrrrrest
me: I CNT BELEIVE IT
hannahthetribe: but hw come grace like this?? is a bit tricky
me: its a BYTE hannah
hannah:bytest grace
me: :)u kno wat hannah
hannah: teme grace
me: blah blah
hannah: suddenly i feel...blah blah... larger than life..
me: hahahahahaha
hannah: seriously grace
me: pleasesttttttttttttttttt
hannah: blah blah
me: blah......
hannah: :))))))))))))
me: :)))))))))))))
hannah: im not able to control lafing :)))
me: me tooooooooooo:)))))
hannah: :))))))) gosh
me: goshest :))))))

(after 286 lines of funny things....n laughter)

me:i gues its gettin late hannah
hannah: ya grace will leave now
me: tc hannah
hannah: u2 grace
me: c ya hugs <3
hannah: c ya grace byee
me: byee

I'm sure you did not understand a bit!  I know no one will :P
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