When I was 9, I cried in a bathroom because my relatives told that I was dark and my sister was fair. So I was insecure about my skin color.
At 12, I hid under the cot since I had a big nose. So I wouldn't like to meet the guests at who came home.
At 14, I cringed when we had to take class photos during school picnic because I was short and thought I was ugly. So I hid my picture.
At 20, I cried when that boy broke my heart because he met a prettier girl. So I felt nobody would ever like me and I would never get married.
At 22, I when everyone had their ministry, I was depressed that I couldn't preach or sing like my dad or sister did.
At 24, I realized that I had spent the first two decades of my life believing the lie that I needed to be perfect. Clean, crisp and poised. So I did all I could to hide my messes. My insecurities. My doubt. My discouragement.
But the truth is that I always felt out of place. I felt too messy and awkward and ugly.
And that's half the reason why my blog has messy and unusual stories. But the truth is that it's a sanctuary for me, where I can pour out my heart before God. A place where I can drop the filters and be the sad little girl that hid in a bathroom. Except there's no hiding under the cot, no comparison, no judgment, no holding back. It's me, my heart poured out in every color, scratch, and squiggle. Because I had found comfort and confidence in one place alone - at Jesus' feet. And today, it's still the only place I'm free to drop the filters, to feel imperfect and ugly without wanting to hide, and free to be messy with a God who adores every ounce of me. And my out-pour on the page is out of my own experiences. It is to encourage you that there is hope in Christ alone.
God has turned my mess into a message. It's true for you, too. So if you're feeling fat, short or ugly or heartbroken or discouraged or messed up: that's okay. There is HOPE!
Your greatest testimony is that you went through fire but you don't smell like smoke!
