BE STILL MY HEART

I looked at the calendar this morning and I couldn't believe that February was already half way over! I have been incredibly busy with work and my ill health. I haven't yet started taking down all the Christmas decorations, which is sadly depressing. However, I feel like now I can finally start to focus on the New Year.

As I have done in the past, I have chosen a word/phrase/verse to focus on for the year. Or, rather, I should say that God chose one for me. I had been pondering on it and leaning towards a word that would motivate me to carry on in this journey of life. Last year I have been reminded time and time again the phrase, "Love is patient" and the year before it was "Let go". Then at the end of December I kept pondering on the "ANCHOR".

I don’t fully know what my goals are for 2015 yet. While the rest of the world rushes to set goals, this year I want to study on the '"Anchor of Hope".
Besides I have my life verse...

The verse “BE STILL” hit me like a ton of bricks few years ago. I knew in my heart that was my life verse. That is what God wanted me to do on this journey of life.
However, in the course of a time I see the phrase pop up all over the place.
For example, I was scrolling down my Facebook wall and a friends' post showed this picture:

Every time I am disturbed that little voice in my heart said, “Be still.” I answered, “La, la, la. I can’t hear you.” (Oh, wait, maybe that’s the problem.). God has His own way of reminding me my Life Verse.  the other day, I was listening to Joel Osteen’s sermon and he was talking about, Exodus 14:14!

Later I was visiting a family friend. I noticed a wall hanging in their house. What did I see on there? A photo that said…

Sarah had put this on instagram:

Seriously, Lord? You are so patient with me! Okay, my thick head has received the message. I will be still.

Recently my cousin also told me that she was undergoing some problem and she told me that she was reminded of the verse I shared to her years ago from "Exodus 14:14"- the Lord will fight for you, you ONLY need to BE STILL"!

On Sunday, in church they sang the song "Still' by Hillsong. As I sang, "I will be still and know You are Lord," tears rolled down from my eyes. As weak and selfish and proud as I can be, Jesus wants me for himself. He wants me to be still so He can speak to my heart. It baffles me!

Being still or quieting myself to pray is not something that is easy for me. There is always noise around me. Even when I am alone, I will have the TV on or the music playing. My mind is always pre-occupied with so many thing. God has slowly been pulling me out of that but now He wants me to step up my game. He is emphasizing my need to be still and quiet my heart.

I can’t help but think about Mary and Martha. I am definitely a Martha. Every time I read that Gospel story I have to fight the urge to get mad at Mary for being so lazy and not helping her sister. Oh, sure! it sounds all good for Martha to sit around but eventually everyone will get hungry and wonder why there is nothing prepared to eat!

Okay, okay. I actually do understand what Jesus means and what He is trying to teach Martha. I need to quiet my heart and listen to the voice of God.

How about you? Did you pick a word for the year or make a resolution? I would love to hear from you.

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GOD PROVIDES

Genesis 22:2

Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.”

Just like God told Abraham to sacrifice his son whom he loved so much, God told me that I need to sacrifice people whom I love. I have climbed Mt. Moriah over and over again. I held people I love dearly. Nothing could snatch them away from me. God had to deal with me. Every time I started getting close to people rather than getting close to God, He would ask me to sacrifice them. I had to let many people go from my life. Letting go off people whom you love is not easy. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for Abraham to sacrifice his ONLY son, whom he LOVED. I had to obey God without questioning Him just like Abraham. I climbed Mt. Moriah, I laid people on the altar and God took them away from me. He did not stop.

The last time I climbed Mt. Moriah, it was very hard. I laid the person whom I love the most on the altar. I also laid my desires, my strength, my weakness, my marriage, my family, my job, my future, my tears; I laid EVERYTHING on the altar. I gave him to God. I gave my Isaac to God. This time, God gave him back to me. Indeed God provides. No wonder Abraham called that place The Lord Will Provide. And to this day it is said, “On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided.”

There may be situations in our life where the Lord is asking to lay something on the altar. It may be something close to your heart. A loved one, a loved job, a loved vehicle, a loved thing, a loved house or even a loved place. You may have to obey God and climb Mt. Moriah. Lay it on the altar. God may either give it back to you or take it away from you for your good. He is God. He knows the best for you. He loves you.

Are you ready to climb Mt. Moriah now?

The story of Abraham is found in Geneisis 22 1-18

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LESSONS I HAVE LEARNT THROUGH PAIN

It’s often said that we learn more from our mistakes and trials than our successes. This year I’ve experienced how this is true.

I wanted to share the lessons I’ve learned in the hope they might encourage someone else going through a difficult time. While I know sadly these lessons are often only learned through experience. While we live in a broken world pain will always be with us, but there is so much better for us – for you.

These are the lessons I’ve learned:

1.Time doesn’t heal, God does.

Hard times will come. They will change you. While some may say you’ll be stronger as a result, that might not be the case (and you certainly won’t feel it as you’re healing!). They could leave you more broken than before. I can tell this with my own experience - Time doesn’t heal, God does.

2. God always forgives

Sometimes you will make mistakes; consciously or unconsciously. Either way, admit to them and their consequences. Learn from them. Commit to never doing them again. While God always forgives, He ultimately only wants the best for us. He loves us too much to leave us the way we are, and when we make mistakes, it’s a clear indication something needs to change.

3. There is always hope

Make sure you know where your hope lies. Even in the darkest of times when all hope seems to be gone, the hope God provides is the one thing that will always remain. When everything fails, hope still remains. Never loose hope, you never know what tomorrow will bring.

4. Love them by letting them

Life is like the wind. It can change direction at any time, and is subject to forces beyond the eye can see. While we can plan our ways, it’s God who determines our path. Our own plans are futile unless they are in line with the wind, and they are the absolute best when they are. Everyone can choose to walk away. Love them by letting them. The best way to live is to let go. Pray for them and leave them in God’s hands. Not everyone, who crosses your path are meant to stay there forever!

5. Forgiveness is a gift

Forgiveness isn’t easy. It doesn’t take away the pain, and it doesn’t mean it’s deserved. Some will say to forgive because it helps you move forward yourself. While there is truth in that, it’s not true forgiveness. Forgiveness is a gift, a selfless act of love that is given, not something that is done to receive. The only place I have found truth in forgiveness is through a deeper revelation of how God loves us: unconditionally and undeserved. When I understood this I saw how God wants freedom in forgiveness for everyone; even those who have caused us pain. That’s why we forgive; because we were first forgiven. How? Not in our own strength, but by seeing those who’ve hurt us through God’s eyes: with His unconditional and abundant love.

If at the end of a hard year you more honestly love and are loved than at the beginning, it hasn’t just been a hard year – it’s been a very good year.

- Praying women

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WAIT FOR HOPE TO APPEAR

It's a Good Thing to Hope for Help from God.

Lamentations 3:19-33 MSG

19-21 I remember it all—oh, how well I remember— the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there's one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:
22-24 God's loyal love couldn't have run out, His merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great Your faithfulness! I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over). He's all I've got left.
25-27 God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. It's a good thing when you're young to stick it out through the hard times.
28-30 When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions: Wait for hope to appear. Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face. The "worst" is never the worst.
31-33 Why? Because the Master won't ever walk out and fail to return. If he works severely, he also works tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense. He takes no pleasure in making life hard, in throwing roadblocks in the way

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OPEN LETTER TO MILEY CYRUS

Genuinely the most refreshing thing I’ve read on this subject. Especially the more unusual Christian response of not preaching scripture for once. The world needs more Christians demonstrating love like this. I'm so touched by this letter so sharing it here.

I think This Is What Jesus Would Do ….

An open letter to Miley Cyrus from Pastor Jarrid Wilson below:

Dear Miley Cyrus,

I first want to say how sorry I am for the way Christians are treating you, tweeting you, and hypocritically judging you for your performance at the VMA’s. While most of the world sits back and wonders “What the heck happened to Miley?” I personally wonder, “What’s going on in Miley’s heart?”

I cannot say I enjoyed your performance, but I can say I my heart breaks for you, your future, and your identity as a woman.

There are so many things I don’t know about you, but something tells me that you are going through more than you are willing to share with the people around you. I can’t imagine being surrounded by the paparazzi 24/7, living in the shadow of your dad, and constantly being asked, “What happened to that sweet girl from Hannah Montana?” 

I get it, you’re an adult now. You don’t want to be forever viewed as the Child-Star from Disney Channel. But I can promise you that this isn’t the way to break that mold.

A Few Things: 

1. You deserve to be respected. 

2. You deserve to be treated like a lady. 

3. You deserve a man who will treat you with honor. 

But the current lifestyle you are living will make it very hard for you to find any of these things. I say this because I care about you, even though I have never met you. You have a platform that is beyond grasp, and I believe your potential to use it for good is unmeasurable.

I’m not going throw any scripture at you. I’m not going to tell you how wrong you are. And I’m not going to tell you that you need Jesus.

Why?

Because frankly, I think you already know all of these things.

You’re a smart girl who has found herself caught up in the world of entertainment. I assume it’s rough. I can’t imagine being constantly surrounded by drugs, sex and alcohol. And I can’t imagine the peer pressure you must feel from labels, managers, and other artists around the world pressuring you to be something you’re not.

I’m here to tell you: YOU DON’T NEED TO LISTEN TO THEM. You are allowed to make your own decisions, and quite frankly this might be the first time anyone has ever told you that.

Regardless of what the tabloids say, my wife and I still believe in you, and will always show an open hand of grace and second chances.

-Jarrid Wilson

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FALLEN HARDER THAN THE FIRST TIME

This poem was written in a tough phase of my life, where there were some mountains that I was climbing, and i fell badly again n again. I realised that this time i had fallen harder than the first time.

Fallen deep into a pit again,

No words can explain the pain,

Broken trusts and shattered dreams

Talks are filled with loud screams

Can anyone feel my heart ache?

Its way more than I can take

Coz i had Fallen harder than the 1st time!

i climb the mountain all over again

When i fall down it goes in vain

i do the things i know it will hurt

All thought it’s just rot and dirt

i think of the things i need 2 4get

Wish i get the right priorities set

Coz i had Fallen harder than the 1st time!

All i need is Your strength n grace

To lift me up n help me run this race

Coz faith in U can move any mountain

Your word is so true and so certain

I’m grateful for Your second chance

Allthough i had fallen harder than the 1st time!

My God is still in control of this life of mine!

Don't look at the mountains but look up to the God who made the mountains!!! =)

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THE UGLY PIT

I've kinda got myself back in the pit again lately. Oh, how I hate the pit. The place that I have been at many times before but I told myself I am never going to go back there again... I am in that place OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. So when is the day that I will learn from my mistakes and my past and completely finish this journey through the wilderness? Will that day be soon? The feeling and the pain of my bad choices should have been done and over with a long time ago. Even though it's not good that I have been making bad choices and I have lost my focus. God is dealing with me about that but I believe God will use this pain and this season for His good.

To remember where I was last year, and then the year before, alot has changed and I have learned alot. I lost focus of God, the more I realized how screwed up I am. That's a good thing in a way that I realized that I am nothing without God and I desperately need His help in EVERY aspect of my life. But sometimes when I get the realization that I am just totally screwed up, it can bring me down when I lose my focus on God, and it starts that self-hate cycle that I’m trying to overcome.

I just want to enjoy life and the journey. But I have to go through this season first. God's not going to let me give up and He's not going to take the hard things away in life that I have to deal with. I just have to stay super focused and keep my eyes on God and go through.

The most important lesson that I learned through this journey is that my strength is directly connected to my relationship with God. If I lose my focus and stop seeking Him, I lose my strength. The times that I lost that focus, I choose to sin and make wrong decisions. Another lesson that I learned is seeking things will never make you happy. Only the joy of the Lord will make us happy. How many times have I been tempted by my flesh telling me that if you get that certain thing/person, it will make me satisfied, happy, content, etc..... Never happens.

I'm tired of being a screwed up mess. I know that I need to give my mess to God and let Him fight my battles for me. Just why is that so hard for my prideful self to do? Or, after I let the Lord fight a battle for me, I slowly take it back because now I think I can handle it on my own. It's like, ok thanks God, but now I can take care of it from here... And then I get myself back into the same hole that I came from. And that same hole is where I’m at now...I give up God… I give up handling things on my own! Please take control God!

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STRONGER

A strong woman works out every day to keep her body in shape …but a woman of strength kneels in prayer to keep her soul in shape…

A strong woman isn’t afraid of anything …
but a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of her fear…

A strong woman won’t let anyone get the best of her …
but a woman of strength gives the best of her to everyone…

A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same in the future…

A woman of strength realizes life’s mistakes can also be God’s blessings and capitalizes on them…

A strong woman walks sure footedly …
but a woman of strength knows God will catch her when she falls…

A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face …
but a woman of strength wears grace…

A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey …
but a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong…

A strong woman is one who gets her heart broken time and time again and still has the strength to gather the pieces to create a new life for herself. Remember that no matter what pain you’ve been through, tears will dry, broken hearts will heal, and somewhere out there the person who truly cares is waiting.

You’re a woman and you are strong.

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