I'M AT MY BREAKING POINT

I had to peace-out this week…

I have been burning out. And from that depleted place, I was becoming a version of myself I didn’t quite like. A wing of a bird to fly away to the mountain is what I needed to take a break and recover. I had reached my breaking point!

Google defines “Breaking point” as, “The point at which something breaks down or gives way. The breaking point of something is the point at which stress has increased so much that things begin to fall apart or break down. Before something has reached its breaking point, it has undergone many trials and tensions.” I have been physically exhausted, mentally drained, socially overstimulated, emotionally emptied, spiritually weary and creatively uninspired. That’s exactly the state I had reached.

Everyone reaches their breaking point in their life when life throws weight at you and you throw back the weight at life. Have you every felt like you reached your boiling point? Maybe it could be something like a personal relationship or may be a failing health, financial, emotional or just physical exhaustion? What do I do in such a state?

The scripture connects to one such character, Martha who was so worked up and stressed that she complains to Jesus about her situation. Lord Jesus says, “Martha, dear Martha, you’re fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it—it’s the main course, and won’t be taken from her.” (Luke 10:41-42 MSG)

Yes, I had to take off and just sit before God. I had to:

1. Repent before God.

I had to talk to God. I was like, “God, I’m coming back to you. I need you more than ever. I can’t do this on my own. I give my life into your hands. I’m sorry for not including You in my busy schedule”. I had to be honest before Him.

2. Repair my heart.

My heart was all over the place. My heart kept going to the wrong places. My heart needed to love God more than my family, food and friends. My heart was busy. My heart was broken. My heart had to be fixed. I had to give my heart to God. My heart needed a repair.

3. Refocus on my calling. 

I know that I have been put on this planet for a purpose. I am here to do a job. I am here to live for Him. I am here to glorify His name. I am here to obey His calling. I need to burn with passion for Him. I need to hear God speak to me.

4. Realign my life. 

I know this is one of the biggest causes of burnout. I need keep myself from drifting away from the goal set before me. I need to align with the gifts and talents God’s given me and use it for Him. I need the kind of energy that motivates me. I need to enjoy life.

5. Reset my priorities. 

I need to stop and think what is important. I need to focus on what will make me happy rather than those that drag me down. I need to put my energy on things that nourish my body, soul and spirit. I need to avoid things that might dehydrate my joy.

6. Reorganize my day. 

Lock-down doesn’t mean that they day is different from the non-lock-down days. The day must begin and end with God. Rather God must be God is in my every day. He must take precedence in every thought, every decision and every action.

7. Restart my writing.

They say do what you love. And half the stress is gone. I love doing the things that make me happy.  I love designing. I love creativity. I love writing.  I need to be passionate about what I do. I need to make time for things I love to do.

Some one said, “Sometimes you have to reach your breaking point in order to breakthrough!”

I’m experiencing my season of breakthrough, are you?

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GOD, YOU ARE STILL GOOD

If your life story was ever written as a book, what would the theme be? I read these themes in an article — “Family faces financial crisis,” “Doctors declare incurable disease,” “Anxiety and fear become crippling,” whatever it is you’re going through — it’s not over.  Be encouraged today that, whatever you may be facing today is temporary! God is waiting to be good to you!

If my life story was to be given a theme, it would be, "Goodness of God"! I can boldly testify saying that my life has been full of Goodness of God in every season. I may be in the fire or furnace, mountain or a valley, I could see His Goodness in every way. Even if the answer is not what I want, God is still good!

When we are faced with a problem, there are three questions we can ask ourselves:

Do you see? 
Can you see the goodness of God in your life, despite the bad? Take a moment to find evidence of His goodness.

Do you hear? 
If you can’t see the goodness of God, can you hear what He’s saying to you about your situation?

Do you remember? 
If you can’t see God’s goodness, and you can’t hear what He’s saying, you can always remember what He has done for you in the past. Take a moment and reflect on all that God has done for you in the past months or years. Celebrate His goodness! You will realize that God's goodness runs after you in every season!

The song, Goodness of God" hit me so hard. It rings so true in my heart. While listening, I was holding my baby in my arms. I was thrown in an sea of memories, it has been always been amazing how God remained soooo faithful to me all my life. But this fact have never been so clearer, after a swelled heart, tears started running down my cheeks, I held my little one tight, kissed him and remembered that: he is the biggest GOODNESS OF GOD IN MY LIFE. I declare this song upon his dear life. That just as the goodness of God has been upon his mama, that the same goodness be upon him.

If at all one song that speaks my life, it is this one. The lyrics are so beautifully written:

Verse 1

I love You Lord

Oh Your mercy never fails me

All my days

I’ve been held in Your hands

From the moment that I wake up

Until I lay my head

I will sing of the goodness of God

Chorus

All my life You have been faithful

All my life You have been so, so good

With every breath that I am able

I will sing of the goodness of God

Verse 2

I love Your voice

You have led me through the fire

In darkest nights

You are close like no other

I’ve known You as a father

I’ve known You as a friend

I have lived in the goodness of God

Bridge

Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me

Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me

With my life laid down, I’m surrendered now, I give You everything

Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me

My anthem this year. What a priceless reminder that God has been there every moment and I have always and will always live in His goodness!  Hope this song blesses you as it has blessed me!

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BEING JONATHAN

You will meet Davids, you will meet lot of Sauls but Jonathans are the rarest breed. Jonathan knew that David is the hero of the story, yet chose to stick to his side. David was going to sit on the throne which belonged to Jonathan naturally. Jonathan knew that David was going to take His throne, that God favoured David more, that people favoured David yet chose to Love David without entertaining jealousy in his heart. We live in a world where jealousy gets sparked over everything and anything. "God favors you more than me. God is blessing you more than me. People love you more than me. You are getting promoted...These things make me happy because I really love you" is a Jonathan's heart. A Jonathan will release celebration where everyone will release jealousy. If someone being favored more, loved more or being blessed hurts you then you need to work on your heart.

* Not my own. Read it on the net and loved the thought.

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ANNOUNCING MY SECOND BOOK!

Btw I started to read my book all over again and to be honest, I can't believe the person who wrote it was me. I have so much to learn from the younger me! Sometimes, we all go off track a bit and so it’s nice to realign. I'm thankful for this book and whenever I feel low or uninspired, it picks me back up. It just shows that learning is a constant journey. As long as you don’t give up on yourself and keep going. I had the best time writing this book for you.

As some of you already know that I have been compiling my second book and the cover is ready! Yaaayyyyyy! Here is the first look! :)

While compiling my second book, I suddenly want to write another book. If I do, what kind of book would you like to read? Should I? 

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I WANT TO BE POOH

It occurred to Pooh 🐻 and Piglet 🐷 that they hadn't heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats 🎩 and coats 🧥 and trotted across the Hundred Acre Wood🌲 to Eeyore's stick house. Inside the house was Eeyore.
"Hello Eeyore," said Pooh. 
"Hello Pooh. 🐻 Hello Piglet 🐷" said Eeyore, in a Glum Sounding Voice 
"We just thought we'd check in on you," said Piglet, "because we hadn't heard from you, and so we wanted to know if you were okay."
Eeyore was silent for a moment. "Am I okay?" he asked, eventually. "Well, I don't know, to be honest. Are any of us really okay? That's what I ask myself. All I can tell you, Pooh and Piglet, is that right now I feel really rather Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. 
Which is why I haven't bothered you. Because you wouldn't want to waste your time hanging out with someone who is Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All, would you now."
Pooh looked and Piglet, and Piglet looked at Pooh, and they both sat down, one on either side of Eeyore in his stick house.
Eeyore looked at them in surprise. "What are you doing?"
"We're sitting here with you," said Pooh, "because we are your friends. And true friends don't care if someone is feeling Sad, or Alone, or Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. True friends are there for you anyway. And so here we are." 💜💚
"Oh," said Eeyore. "Oh." And the three of them sat there in silence, and while Pooh and Piglet said nothing at all; somehow, almost imperceptibly, Eeyore started to feel a very tiny little bit better. 🥰
Because Pooh and Piglet were There.
No more; no less.
A.A.Milne
E.H.Shepard

*This is not my own story, I read it online and posted it here since I loved it

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KINDNESS IS CONTAGIOUS

“Why aren’t you are planning for kids?” 

“It’s been long you have been married!”

“All your friends have kids!”

“Why are you delaying so much?”

“You are getting old!” 

“It’s high time you start trying!”

These were some things people told me a couple of years ago. Some of them were indeed painful as I had an unspoken health issue. I had prayed, cried and literally begged God to heal me. How do I tell everyone that I have been going through a tough journey battling with my health? We all have our own battles to fight. They are sometimes are unspoken and cannot be published on Facebook walls. During such phase that I read this quote:

“Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”

Oh, how true that is!

UNSPOKEN KINDNESS

Life isn’t what we plan. How often we judge someone and wonder why they not getting married, why they are not having a baby, why they are not having another baby, why they are separated, why they are divorced, why they left their job, why they dress in a certain way and a million things! I have learned that I am no one to judge as they might be fighting an unspoken battle. All I can do is be kind to them.

UNDESERVED KINDNESS

God has been extremely KIND to me by healing me and especially by giving me a baby. As every year I pick up a phrase a verse to mediate, I had been asking God what should work on this year. And time and time again I am reminded that I need to work on being KIND this year. When I didn’t deserve, God was kind to me and I would want to reciprocate kindness to those around me. I want to be so full of KINDNESS that it becomes contagious.

UNCONTAINABLE KINDNESS

I have so many personal stories to share with you about how the kindness of God and people has been a thread throughout my life especially this year. Ever since my baby has been born there have been numerous ways that people have shown us extra kindness in giving us all that our baby needs. From baby crib, carrier, car seat, stroller, trolley, dining chair, toys, bather, tub, blankets, silver, gold, numerous clothes and what not. My heart is uncontainable as it is filled with stories of kindness.

UNEXPERIENCED KINDNESS

We may not always know what people battle are battling in life. When tempted to be unkind, I put myself in their shoes and remind myself that:
They did not choose to be in that position
Who am I to judge?
They might have an unspoken pain
How can I be kind to them?

Kindness is more than just something to read about in a book, it cannot be explained in words. It's something to be experienced. My greatest hope is that you will experience kindness and you share the same to those around you.

Coz kindness is contagious!

Leaving behind a scripture that I love:
 “Praise the LORD, my soul, and do not forget how kind he is.” Psalm 103:2

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THE BUMPY JOURNEY

My month by month bumpy shots :)

Well, it ’s taken me few days, on and off to compile all my bump shots, and considering I have a little gentleman who loves to snuggle, I’d say I’m finally here to post my story. It’s crazy looking back at my belly month by month and realizing that was our little Jaden growing in there. It boggles my mind how life can grow inside a belly so small. The Creator is excellent at His creation!

I’m so glad I have this to look back at one day and show Jaden these (if he’s interested). Of course, he will have to listen to his mom's 11-hour labor story for the rest of his life :)

Like few mothers, I was dreading about the labor pain that I had heard about. I always used to think what if I die during the labor? Who will look after the baby and all kinds of questions kept popping in my mind? Until one night I dreamt like someone was telling me, "Don't panic. I'm with you. There's no need to fear for I'm your God. I'll give you strength. I'll help you. I'll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.". When I woke up, I googled and found out that it's from Isaiah 41:10. And that week, dad also spoke about this verse in a random sermon. Later, I saw this verse on someone's facebook wall. It was like a confirmation that God was saying, I am with you. So I decided that I will embrace every uncomfortable position, every heartburn, every contraction, every hip pain, back pain, all the tossing and turnings, sleepless nights and all that comes with being pregnant. As it is worth it!

As I type, I am reminded of all women who would give the world to be in my place. Who perhaps couldn't get to full term, who maybe haven't been able to get pregnant, who are aching at every pregnancy photo they see. THIS IS FOR YOU:

“SOMETIMES WHEN YOU ARE IN A DARK PLACE, YOU THINK YOU HAVE BEEN BURIED, BUT ACTUALLY YOU HAVE BEEN PLANTED.”

Although I had a very hard journey of conceiving and super painful labor, God was with me throughout this journey. God wanted me to go through this to encourage someone going through a similar bumpy journey as mine. Like I always say, His promise still stands!

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HAPPINESS

Today I have my cousin, Meryl as a guest writer on my blog. This is his first writing. I thought he totally rocked it. So here is some inspirational stuff for you guys:

Life is tough. 

You can't always 

be happy in life. 

There's always 

tough times. 

Good things cannot 

be there for long time. 

But what matters is 

how you can make 

yourself happy. 

Happiness is a 

wonderful feeling 

but it's really hard 

to find happiness 

in the world nowadays. 

Things change, 

people change in your life. 

Moving on is very tough 

but then it's worth moving on 

rather than being upset 

about the things 

that have happened. 

Staying happy 

motivates yourself, 

to do something 

extra each day. 

No matter how people are

 you treat them well. 

Do good to others. 

And as always 

BE A GOOD PERSON! 

Stay positive and be happy in life🙂

- Meryl

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