TO SOMEONE WHO IS ALMOST 30

You’ve spent so many years enjoying your 20’s and life always looked so cool and glamorous. It was filled with love and laughter. While having messy rooms, life was messier. You always followed the latest fashion trend. You always felt you had nothing to wear even when your closet was full of clothes (I feel this every day) and laundry bags were overflowing. Now, you are unable to fit into your cute little red dress. You have been googling how to lose weight and tried all possible diets! You have been trying so hard to keep your tummy flat. Sounds familiar! Oh well, you are not alone.

Yes, different people are doing different things right now. Life is no longer the same.

Your best friends have kids. Your old classmate is killing it with success. Your ex is happy. Your old mate is drowning in drugs. Half your college mates are abroad. No matter how much your paycheck is, it is never enough money.  Different people are doing different things. But not you, you just exist. You’re getting through everyday a little better than the last. But then you have days where you can’t get up at all.

This life you’re living doesn’t feel complete. Loneliness wraps around you like a blanket you love and you wonder where you went wrong.

“Did I do too much too soon? Did I not do enough? Did I miss that opportunity? Is this going to be the rest of my life? Why am I alone? Why am I unsuccessful?” It goes on. And when you wake up, it’s worse. A memory of last night frustratingly haunts your hammering mind. Yet another mistake. Yet again.

You scream hateful words to yourself. When will I ever learn? You go over those messages. Those conversations. How you fell right back into a ditch when you knew better. Just for a moment, you wish you weren’t yourself.

And in that moment, read these words:

Breathe. It’s not so bad. I’m in the same boat too. I’ve made that call. I’ve texted that wrong person. I’ve woken up with regrets. I still do. I’ve felt the need to be held. I’ve felt that silent green monster towards that colleague at work.

Yes, we all make those mistakes. And we all think nobody else does. But they do.

So please, don’t hate yourself. And don’t stop being you. Don’t stop dressing up.  Don’t stop trying that diet. Don’t stop dreaming of fairy-tales. You might not always get there, but don’t stop.

You have so much left to do. You have a world filled with life waiting to happen. You have books to be written. Steps to be taken. Places to see. People to meet. Shopping centers that you haven’t explored.  Makeovers that you haven’t tried. You haven’t lived half your life yet. There’s so much ahead. And in ten years, when you look back, you’ll wish you were here again.

And ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS remember – It’s okay to be alone in a crowd or in a room full of people. I know how it feels.

Don’t lose yourself to pity-party. Do the simple things. Stop procrastinating. Take a walk in the rain. Exercise. Swim. Watch your favorite movie for the millionth time. Write your dairy. Sketch until you’re better than the best. Eat like you’re dying tomorrow. And most importantly, make mistakes. Your heart will heal. But today will never be back again. Don’t live with “Could-have-been’s.” Take chances.

But because you deserve to wake up with a smile. You deserve to live life. To make memories so wild, you’ll be the coolest grandparent they’ve ever known.

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ANYTHING FOR HER

I still remember those days. She was laughter. She was joy. She was as adorable as life got.

It wasn’t the easiest of transitions. I woke up one day and suddenly my world wasn’t just about me anymore. The days I could not go on. But she made it better.

Someone once asked me what my favorite day ever was. I didn’t have to think because I knew. I knew the moment it happened that I’ll never forget that day. It was the day I saw her.

I remember the first time she scared me. She hid behind a wall and waited for me to walk out of our restroom. When I took the first step, she whispered “Bhaaa.” Little did she know, I was so lost in thought, the mere word almost skipped a heartbeat. I may be scarred for life but the way she laughs still rings in my head.

She is everything I’ll never be. Always has been. She was a parent’s day dream. She knew what she wanted. She didn’t aim for the sky. She aimed for what she could do. And she did it. She sang her heart out.

We’ve shared a lot. We’ve shared a room. We’ve shared clothes. We’ve shared secrets. Gossip. Life stories. Late night thoughts about the future. My dream man. Her dream wedding.

We’ve been on adventures together. Recording songs. Recording videos. Lied together. Laughed together. Fought the world together. Fought with each other. Teased people together. Teased each other. She taught me what sharing is. We had our differences. But we found common ground.

We’re not as close as we once were. She became a teenager. She found her friends. She found people she could relate to. But it didn’t mean we loved each other any less. We still had our talk. She still knew how insecure I could be. I still knew how much of a drama queen she could be.

And I still can’t believe. After so many years of treating her like a child, she’s no longer a teenager! She’s a woman! 

Each word here is a little reminder of a moment we spent together. A moment we laughed together. A moment we lived together. 

Most importantly, no matter how big a fight we’ve had, how embarrassed we’ve made each other feel or how much she loses my stuff, we’ll never give up on each other.

Because she’s not just someone I’ve known. She’s someone I’ve loved since the moment she was born.

She’s my younger sister.

And there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her.

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